Dear Big Corporate World,
I think we’ve both known it for a while, but the time has finally come to call it a day.
Our relationship hasn’t been great for a long time now. Sure, it started off well – but I think most relationships do, you know? I was young and naive and you just seemed so important and sophisticated.
I’ll admit I was seduced by your promises and your power. You took me places I had never been. Flying me around in the pointy end of aeroplanes, staying in five star hotels, paying for expensive meals. You showered me with gifts and made me feel special. For a kid who grew up in small town New Zealand without much money you really were a dream come true.
For the first few years we were pretty happy together. Sometimes you were a bit overbearing and possessive, sure, but I just thought that was the way our sort of relationship worked.
It did upset me when you told me I couldn’t go out with my friends at night or on the weekends because you needed me so much, but I got used to it eventually. You told me that what we were doing together was really important, and I believed you.
It took a long time for the cracks to start showing. When once I’d looked forward to seeing you every day, I ended up resenting having to come and spend so much time with you. The shiny things I got from you started to look a lot more like bribes – and all of a sudden they just didn’t make me happy any more.
Slowly but surely I began to feel crushed. I was exhausted from having to spend so much time keeping up appearances for the sake of our relationship, pretending to be someone I no longer was. I couldn’t remember the last time you had made me feel genuinely happy, or I had done something that really inspired me instead of just what you told me to do.
I knew that things were getting bad when I stopped feeling committed to you. I’ll admit it, my eyes started to wander. Other people seemed to be happy in their relationships, though – why wasn’t I? I tried all sorts of things to make us work, but eventually I just couldn’t hide it any more.
It’s not you, it’s me. You know we’ve tried to break up more than once in the last few years. I left you for a few months back in 2008, remember? I needed a break and even though I came back to you eventually we both knew it was the beginning of the end.
So then there was last year. I walked out on you again in January and had never been happier. For ages I loved my newly single status, and when I grudgingly agreed to try to make us work one last time on a trial basis my heart just wasn’t in it.
And now we’re done.
I’m in Thailand these days, and it is amazing. There are so many people here who have broken up from toxic relationships just like ours. We are our own little support group really – except we don’t seem to need any support! I’ve never been around such a positive and happy bunch of people.
I think this single life really suits me.
This time I’m not coming back.
All the best for the future,
Image via WoodleyWonderworks