CORPORATE RUNAWAY. WORLD WANDERER. COFFEE DRINKER.

Country Icon

Why roller coasters and hangovers do not mix

June 27, 2012 | Travel, USA | 21 Comments
Roller coaster in Denver

“You’ve never been on a roller coaster??!”

I have no idea how many times I was asked that question, but it must have been double figures.

No, I had not been on a roller coaster.

People seemed genuinely shocked when I told them, as if I had missed out on a childhood rite of passage or something.  Unlike other parts of world, New Zealand doesn’t have a roller coaster culture.  When I was growing up there was only one place in the country you could do it, a couple of thousand kilometres away on a different island.  That might still be the case, as far as I know.

Sure we throw ourselves off bridges and down hillsides with barely a second thought, but we tend not to strap ourselves into wheeled carts and spin ourselves round and round until we puke.

I know, we’re strange like that.

That was all about to change, however.  I was in Denver, Colorado for a travel blogging conference, and had chosen the ‘adrenaline’ option from the list of pre-conference excursions.  A great idea when booking it a few weeks earlier, not so good when waking up early with an altitude-induced hangover from a beer-tasting event the night before.

The bicycle ride from the convention centre to Elitch Garden’s amusement park didn’t seem terribly adventurous, and taking pretty photos from the observation platform seemed like the perfect type of adrenaline sport for someone with a headache and vague waves of nausea.

Amusement park in Denver

And then we headed for the roller coaster.

Crap.

Strapping ourselves in amidst much whooping and hollering, I started to doubt the wisdom of what was going on at exactly the moment the carts started to clatter forwards.  Perfect.  Well, there was no backing out now.  We climbed slowly away from the starting point, up an incline, paused briefly … and then, with a stomach-spinning lurch, we were off.

What followed was possibly one of the least pleasant minutes I can recall.  Unsure whether to shout, scream or throw up violently on the person in front of me, I opted instead for loud cursing and willing my stomach contents to remain on the inside.

I really shouldn’t have had that last beer the night before.

After at least 18 million hours we finally completed our loop, coming to a sudden halt that just about finished what the rest of the ride had started.  “Would you like to go round again?”, inquired our host.  I suspect my attractive shade of green may have answered the question.

Walking unsteadily away from the ride, I wondered aloud what lay in store.  A nice cup of tea, perhaps, coupled with a very long nap?

“Oh no”, came the reply.

“You’re going on another roller coaster.”

I think I may have let out a small whimper at this point.  Perhaps a solitary tear rolled down my cheek.

Wooden roller coaster, Denver

Just to make things more interesting, this sadistic torture device fun ride was much older than the previous one.  Much whiter.  Much … woodier.  And a hell of a lot more decrepit.

We crawled slowly skywards, chattering nervously as my stomach attempted to climb out of the cart and return to ground level.  Somebody came up with the bright idea of holding our arms above our heads for the entire ride.  Well, at least it gave me something else to think about other than whether a selection of Colorado’s finest ales would taste as good the second time around.

Round and round we hurled, as I alternately screwed my eyes shut and then snapped them open in case we were about to fly right off the tracks.  This. Was. Not. My. Idea. Of. Fun.  I waved my arms around in the air, partially in solidarity with my travel blogging colleagues and partially to signal for help to anyone who might be watching.

If I thought the previous ride took forever, the length of this one was measured in geologic time scales.  Generations passed.  Entire galaxies were born, lived and died in the time it took to complete one loop of that damn roller coaster.

Staggering towards the restrooms, someone with an overly-cheerful smile stopped me in my tracks.

“So, that was your first time on roller coasters huh?”

I nodded grimly in reply.

“How was it?”

Quite possibly the worst experience of my life.

Thanks for asking.

21 Comments

  1. Reply

    Arianwen

    June 27, 2012

    Ahhhh, the memories this brings back. Last time I was at a theme park I was hungover too. I feel your pain! Do you think perhaps you might have liked it if you hadn't been feeling so delicate?

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      Well I think I would have liked it a lot more if I'd felt better, that's for sure! Not sure it would ever have become something I'd do for fun though... *winces at the memory*

  2. Reply

    Erica

    June 27, 2012

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAalkdsl;kasl;

    You probably looked like Shaun when he realized he had developed motion sickness.

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      Was he green and unsteady on his feet? If so ... yes. :(

  3. Reply

    dtravelsround

    June 27, 2012

    Oh my god. You give new meaning to "drama queen." ;) That being said, so glad you didn't vomit everywhere and took it like a champ, with arms in the air and all. Very proud.

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      I didn't see *you* beside me on that roller coaster, you know...

  4. Reply

    I have to be against you on this one, I love roller coasters. The combination with a hangover is what probably made you hate them that much! :D But good going on holding it in the entire ride ;)

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      It was definitely close... ;-)

  5. Reply

    Ayngelina

    June 27, 2012

    I cannot believe you did that. I hadn't been on a rollercoaster until 5 years ago and even then I would have never done it hung over.

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      I sure as hell won't be doing it again in a hurry, hung over or otherwise...

  6. Reply

    Lisa

    June 27, 2012

    Ha ha - love it! I grew up in the US and have great memories of my dad dragging me off to ride the coasters from a very young age. I guess you could say that I almost grew up on them. The sad little Auckland coaster pales in comparison to the ones in the US.

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or commiserate with you about growing up on those damn things! ;-)

  7. Reply

    Nigel D

    June 27, 2012

    In 60+ years my lone experience of a Ferris Wheel (if it can be called that) was in the Prater amusement park in Vienna. Nice and slow and ideal for the vertically challenged. Sorry David - I won't be trying the one you described any time soon! It is a case of admire but not wish to emulate!

    • Reply

      Dave

      June 27, 2012

      Even the ferris wheel later that morning made me feel decidedly unwell after the two roller coaster rides that preceded it! I was very happy to leave that amusement park...

  8. Reply

    jade

    June 27, 2012

    I don't love roller coasters but Bob loves them! So I have definitely gone on a few that I wouldn't have done myself.

  9. Reply

    Madeleine

    June 29, 2012

    This brings back bad memories of the time I went on a waltzer hungover. My friends were screaming for it to go faster and I was screaming for it to stop. Not good!

  10. Reply

    Amanda

    July 2, 2012

    Aww no! I'm sorry to hear your first roller coaster experience was so horrible. :( I love them! But then again, I've never ridden one hungover and suffering from altitude...

    • Reply

      Dave

      July 2, 2012

      Yeah it may not have been the *ideal* introduction :(

  11. Reply

    flipflopcaravan

    July 2, 2012

    Hahaha! I was in the hell-yeah-let's-go-again camp! After reading this though, I'm glad we didn't. How'd you do with the zip lining?

    • Reply

      Dave

      July 2, 2012

      Zip lining was fantastic! I'd never done that either, but it was altogether a far more enjoyable experience! :)


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Leave a Reply

© 2009 - 2014 David Dean. All rights reserved.
Designed by: Never North Labs